Category Archives: Babylon Bee

Bar codes for Congress.

Posted on December 24, 2020 by On the North River

The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout Congress Members To Wear Barcodes So Lobbyists Can Scan Prices, Self-Checkout WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move to make purchasing congresspeople easier and faster for … Continue reading →

Posted in 2020, Babylon Bee, Deep State, Funny | Leave a comment

Schooled.

Posted on October 10, 2020 by On the North River

Teachers Unions Promise School Will Resume As Soon As The Teachers Are Done Campaigning For Biden U.S.—Facing growing frustration from parents over prolonged school closures, the American Federation of Teachers has released a statement promising school will resume just as … Continue reading →

Posted in 2020, All the News not fit to print., Babylon Bee, Deep State, Education | 1 Comment

File this under, “About Fucking Time!”

Posted on May 31, 2020 by On the North River

Trump Takes Decisive Action Against Antifa Thugs as Riots Spread Across America On Sunday, after days of rioting, looting, and arson in cities across America following protests over the horrific death of George Floyd at the hands of police officers, … Continue reading →

Posted in 2020, Babylon Bee, Fuck Socialism, President Trump, When Progressives Attack, Winning | 2 Comments

Politics Biden Campaign Hires Interpreter To Translate His Speeches Into English

Posted on May 19, 2020 by On the North River

U.S.—The Biden campaign is facing a real communication problem as Joe Biden’s speeches are growing more and more nonsensical. In order to overcome this challenge, aides have hired an interpreter to translate everything he says into normal, human-style English. “My … Continue reading →

Posted in 2020, Babylon Bee, Can't fix Stupid, Guest | Leave a comment

Uh Oh!

Posted on April 17, 2020 by On the North River

Uh-Oh: Wuhan Lab Changes Sign To ‘0 Days Since Accidentally Releasing A Virus’ April 16th, 2020 WUHAN—In an alarming turn of events, workers at a Wuhan research lab were seen adjusting a sign that read “92 Days Since Accidentally Releasing … Continue reading →

Posted in 2020, Babylon Bee, China, Tongue in Cheek | 1 Comment

Revenge of the Nerds?

Posted on March 12, 2020 by On the North River

Nation’s Nerds Wake Up In Utopia Where Everyone Stays Inside, Sports Are Canceled, Social Interaction Forbidden U.S.—The nation’s nerds woke up in a utopia this morning, one where everyone stays inside, sporting events are being canceled, and all social interaction … Continue reading →

Posted in 2020, Babylon Bee, Tongue in Cheek | Leave a comment

True ‘Dat!

Posted on February 26, 2020 by On the North River

The Babylon Bee Warning: Gang Of Known Criminals Holds Meeting To Discuss How Much Of Your Money To Steal Warning: Gang Of Known Criminals Holds Meeting To Discuss How Much Of Your Money To Steal DES MOINES, IA—Authorities are warning … Continue reading →

Posted in 2020, Babylon Bee | Leave a comment

Good news!

Posted on January 26, 2020 by On the North River

In Major Deal, The Babylon Bee Purchases Competing Satire Site CNN January 25th, 2020 U.S.—The Babylon Bee has been the world’s best satire site for thousands of years, spawning dozens of secular knock-offs that just aren’t quite as good. The … Continue reading →

Posted in All the News not fit to print., Babylon Bee, Funny | Leave a comment

Is there anything He can’t do?

Posted on October 29, 2019 by On the North River
Posted in All the News not fit to print., Babylon Bee | 1 Comment

New ‘Trans’ record!

Posted on October 25, 2019 by On the North River

Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record October 25th, 2019 NEW YORK, NY—In an inspiring story from the world of professional cycling, a motorcyclist who identifies as a bicyclist has crushed all the regular bicyclists, setting an unbelievable world … Continue reading →

Posted in All the News not fit to print., Babylon Bee | Leave a comment