Lighter Side

Things to say…

Things That Are Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

Things That Are Very Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

Things That Are Downright Impossible To Say When You’re Drunk

1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to piss in this parking lot or on the road side.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning

This next one works if you remember the original movie “Ten Little Indians” with Barry Fitzgerald.

 

I don’t know about you, but I always thought Disney’s princesses were HOT.

Posted in Cartoons | Leave a comment

Kayaking the North River in November

Have I ever mentioned that I consider the Kayak Season to go from March to December (longer if the river doesn’t ice over).  So November is in season, with its own advantages and some disadvantages.

Advantages:

  • Better access to many areas that don’t allow “out-of-towners” from Memorial Day to the end of September.
  • On the North River mosquitoes are not a problem due to the brackish water. On any fresh water lake or river they are a big problem. After the first hard frost in November…goodbye.
  • Hot spots in the “hot” months, no parking. November, no problemo.
  • Photography, high, bright summer sun doesn’t always make for the best conditions. The low late fall sun can give your shots better tones and shadow.

Dis-advantages:

  • Set that alarm clock. you need to be back to the landing by 4PM, the sun is going down. The short days make waiting for the tide difficult.
  • Water temperature isn’t that bad yet, but some days the air can be a little brisk, meaning that going out in just a bathing suit and t-shirt ain’t that good a idea. (If that seems a little off, remember, I’m a Dane.)
  • How many pictures can you take of bare branches and brown grass.

At any time of the year its nice to meet friendly people on the river.

Wooden Kayaks are not common, but what a beautiful boat.

I’ll never know why the birds on the river are gone hell for leather as soon as I get within a couple of hundred yards but the ducks at the park will swim by peacefully a few feet away.

All the seasons have their own charms, but sometimes I think fall’s pace and quiet are my favorite.

Posted in Get launched, Kayaking, North River, Personal, Photos | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Miss me yet?, Brain Ship Pilot, Alt Energy, .001%

Who says conservatives don’t have a sense of humor?

James Hansen and the Corruption of Science

We can’t say it enough: global warming alarmism is not science. It is politics at best, outright fraud at worst.

1.6 Million in unreported income. This is not a honest man.

NEAR POOR?

If you have a disposable income of $40,000 and you are barely getting by, then something is wrong that is not the fault of the government, …. Maybe you are a bad manager of money.

Close only counts in Horseshoes and hand grenades.

There is a old phrase,” Taking the Kings Shilling”. Soldiers of the King got that when they enlisted in the army, likewise, taking the government entitlement is also a way of selling your soul.

OWS “Kent State moment”? More like “Dorothea Lange moment”

Photo of the OWS brigade being turned out of Zucotti Park.  99%…I hope not.

The true 1%, or should we move that decimal point to the LEFT.

Nuff’ Said.

14,000 abandoned wind turbines

To paraphrase Shakespeare,”O’ Alternate Power, thy name is Subsidies!”

When government subsidies dry up, so do the Alt-Energy boondoggles. As I posted yesterday.

Human survival depends on space exploration, says Stephen Hawking

There are times that I wish I had cable.

I nominate Stephen for the occupant of the first Brain Ship.

https://i0.wp.com/ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51rKzGQn99L._BO2%2C204%2C203%2C200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click%2CTopRight%2C35%2C-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

I Blame The Australian Carbon Tax for Price Increases

On cue comes the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission, which this week issued warnings to businesses that they will face whopping fines of up to $1.1m if they blame the carbon tax for price rises.

It says it has been “directed by the Australian government to undertake a compliance and enforcement role in relation to claims made about the impact of a carbon price.”

To complain about taxes is a natural right, of course the authorities won’t hold jury trials everything will be behind closed doors and in front of tribunals.

Posted in All the News not fit to print., Blogbits, Foreign Newspapers, Global Warming Hoax, News and opinion, When Progressives Attack | Leave a comment

Why is there a crisis in Europe? This is why.

Posted in Blogbits | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Car Talk, kiss your car goodby, Three cheers for the Governor, EU deathwatch

Tom & Ray Magliozzi / Car Talk

TOM: The blinkers absolutely can fail intermittently. A lot of electronic parts fail that way

Commenter: I’m from Massachusetts. What’s a “directional signal”?

How new fuel economy standards came about

The EPA, California regulators, environmentalists, Democrat hacks…i.e. The Godfathers.

What could possibly go wrong?

Wind farms are useless, says Duke of Edinburgh

Wind farms are usless, says Duke of Edinburgh

Righto, Governor! The need for subsidies, backup generators and short operating lifetime are a open secret. In England, its been recently disclosed, they shut the damn things off for high winds to increase service life and in response to public complaints about their noise.

Two-thirds of the country’s wind turbines are owned by foreign companies, which are estimated to reap £500million a year in subsidies.

With wind and solar power, its all about the subsidies. In Spain several years ago it was disclosed that one “Solar” power company was making so much profit from subsidies that they secretly ran a diesel generator during cloudy days so they could continue to collect the mandated higher rates they received for “solar” power. They didn’t get caught until someone forgot to turn the generator off at night.

Spain votes as conservatives head for crushing victory

Obama…Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

Britain: Clegg tells Europe to forget Robin Hood tax

Righto! Its another burdensome tax imposed by a unelected body of bureaucrats across the water. Wait, I have a great slogan you can use; “No Taxation without Representation!”. Catchy,isn’t it? And it worked for us.

How the EU Can Emerge from the Ashes

Phoenix Europe: How the EU Can Emerge from the Ashes

The old European Union didn’t work, that much has been made clear by the ongoing debt crisis. But many in Europe think there is now a clear path to a new, more integrated — and smaller — bloc. What must happen first? Greater democracy and less nation-state sovereignty.

Or maybe the different nations of Europe are just too different. Maybe the citizens of the nations of Europe can’t be fit into any one cookie cutter shape. But clearly, rule by unelected, socialist buffoons must go. I wish them well.

Posted in Blogbits, Foreign Newspapers, News and opinion | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Justin Timberlake? Lions and donkeys, If theres to many lawyers then there must be to many law professors.

My first ever link to a post by Justin Timberlake.

My Night At The Marine Corps Ball

Hey Doug,

Did they have Marines like Corporal Kelsey DeSantis when you were in?

Alison Hume inquiry: A damning verdict, an avoidable death, but no apology – Edinburgh, East & Fife – Scotsman.com

“There is little doubt that the rank-and-file firefighters in attendance were anxious to conduct a rescue as quickly as possible but were prevented from doing so by the superiors.”… Incredibly, Mr Stewart had told the inquiry the operation had a ‘successful outcome’ because the casualty was ultimately removed from the shaft.

“Lions and donkeys. If ever there was a case that demanded that the officers were publicly stripped of their stripes then this is it.”

CBO Director Admits That 2009 Stimulus Will Reduce US GDP

Money into the Government is the same as matter into a Black Hole.

Professor Angry Over Packages for Troops, Calls them “Shameful”

A Suffolk University law professor has issued a blistering e-mail calling plans to collect care packages for U.S. troops “shameful.”  Professor Michael Avery also questioned the intent of an American flag hanging in the law school’s atrium.

Suffolk University is located within the City of Boston, Massachusetts. One of the few (perhaps the only large American city) locales still playing kissy face with the Occupy Kiddies.

Election 2012: Mid-season peek

 

 

Posted in All the News not fit to print., Blogbits, Foreign Newspapers, News and opinion, When Progressives Attack | 1 Comment

Man replacing The Divine with human ideology.

Ugly black books showed up in the pews at my church, First Church in Pembroke. Formerly Congregational, currently United Church of Christ.

The Pilgrim Hymnal (1958) has been in the pews on the book rack as long as I can remember. Now, I’m one of the worst singers in the world. But I’ve been honking along with the rest of the congregation for most of my life. Whenever we were called on to sing “Nearer my God to Thee” I’d think about the movie, “Titanic” (The old one, not Leo’s). In the black book, its now “Nearer my God to You”. Why not “Yo!”? Of course, God is lucky to still be there, in the new Hymnal, God is reduced and Lord has almost evaporated.

From a critical review in 1996…reveals a commitment to reconceive God in terms of a democratic egalitarian ideology that rejects hierarchy and patriarchy.”

From users reviews at Amazon…

Amazon:”It isn’t inclusive when it rejects the traditional and those who prefer it”….

Amazon:”For those charged with representing the descendants of Yankee Pilgrims and Puritans, the compilers of the NEW CENTURY HYMNAL did a pretty good job of spitting on the one area which ought to be their custody–the Plymouth experience. That magnificent internal rhyme “may Thy congregation escape tribulation” got thrown out (was it the “Thy”?) in favor of some Cool-Whip banality written by staff.”…

Amazon:”I found the textual changes insulting to the original authors of these sacred texts. No regard is given to the biblical language or traditions. Ideology drove the creation of this hymnal, not a desire to glorify God. This is what happens when humans become the center of their faith instead of allowing God’s Spirit to speak and reveal God’s self to us. For shame.”…

Amazon: “However, my biggest complaint with New Century is taking the inclusive language too far, and my church uses this hymnal. Singing “I want Jesus to Go with Me” instead of “I Want Jesus to Walk with Me” sounds awkward. First of all, the walk is a spiritual walk and does not exclude those of God’s disabled children. Second, the changed title sounds like Jesus is going to the bathroom with you”….

In my own experience, after being out for several weeks, I encountered this new hymnal in the pew without knowing anything about it. Never heard of it. Started to thumb through it to find the hymn the congregation was singing and my eye caught the changed wording of one of my favorite hymns, “Nearer my God to thee”. Except it wasn’t called that anymore. I went back after services and leafed through the book and found very little I liked.

Speaking to several people at my church, members and deacons, I heard the same explanation. That explanation was that our Minister told them that the old hymnals, which were wearing out, had to be replaced with The New Century Hymnal because the Pilgrim Hymnal was out of print and could not be obtained.  I decided to do a little investigation, first the obvious point is that the Pilgrim Press is now owned by the UCC (United Church of Christ) and they own the copyright and control any decision to publish or withdraw from print the Pilgrim Hymnal. Further reading on the history of the decision to create a new hymnal showed me that my old enemies, the same progressives who took control of the UCC, were trying to control our thoughts and voices, again. They disapprove of the military, the patriarchal idea or tense, the rich and full language of the traditional hymns and they decided to exclude them from being voiced by the UCC congregations.They even re-wrote, America the Beautiful.

I continued on that premise until I discovered that my initial information was in error. I logged onto the UCC storefront and discovered that I could, in fact, order a brand-new copy of the red hymnal, “The Pilgrim Hymnal”.  I have not been able to find out if the hymnal is actually out of print and what is being sold is just inventory or still on the active book list. As far as what is happening at my old church its a moot point. Parishioners are being lied to and the black books are replacing the old hymnals in the pews. For me its sadly the end of my membership at First Church.

Why does inclusive mean excluding the traditional?

Some of the links I’ve explored to develop my understanding of this matter;

Reflections on The New Century Hymnal

http://www.amazon.com/review/R1C59B9S7SXSZS/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=0829810501&nodeID=&tag=&linkCode=#wasThisHelpful

http://www.biblicalwitness.org/BWFNewHymnal.htm

Posted in Personal, When Progressives Attack | Tagged , , | 6 Comments

Dinner at Quantico

A retired gentleman from the US Navy sent this to me’ get out your Kleenex…

 

“Dinner at Quantico”

WHY IS IT THAT SOME UNDERSTAND WHAT MATTERS MOST ABOUT AMERICA … AND THEY RESPECT IT SO DEEPLY THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO MAKE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICES FOR IT, AND OTHERS HAVE NO CLUE WHATSOEVER…

This slide show consists of photos taken at a formal dinner at the National Museum of the Marine Corps in Quantico , VA.
It is a beautiful presentation of the honor, commitment and pride that today’s heroes share with yesterday’s.
If you know a Sailor or Marine or someone of any branch of the Military (of any age), make sure he or she sees this.

Wouldn’t hurt if all other Americans saw it too.

 

http://www.jensensutta.com/slideshows/RTB/

Posted in Doug, High Tide | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Yellow and Red

As noted earlier. This fall we traveled 450 miles up north to Vermont to find colorful foliage. We didn’t find it.

It found us.

Posted in Photos | 1 Comment

Announcing the first ever, Caption Contest! And last, no interest it seems

Write the winning caption and get absolutely nothing at all, but lasting internet fame!

Caption:_________________________________________________________

Posted in All the News not fit to print., Cartoons, Photos | 3 Comments