I was recently reminded that I do have a Big Head. Hat size , extra large. Face-Mask oversized please.
Many years ago I was in an department store within the Maine Outlet Mall waiting for the ladies to finish shopping; as I waiting another female shopper came up to me and spoke to me. “Excuse me sir, but I noticed that you have a big head, and my husband has a big head and so I think that if this hat will fit you it will fit him. Would you mind trying it on for me?”
I think I blinked a couple of times while listening to her, but without comment I took the proffered headgear and placed it on my head where it perched precariously. Unable to cover the sides and slide down on to my noggin properly. “No” she said, “definitely not”. “Thank You”, she said and left.
I turned and spoke to my mother and my wife who had witnessed the exchange; I was amused and said, “Can you believe what that lady said?”? Which I quickly learned was the wrong thing to say.
For right there, in the store surrounded by dozens of amused women, my mother orated; “Don’t have to tell ME you have a big head, TEN stitches I had to have when I had YOU”!
Well, I guess you can’t actually die of embarrassment, but I think my wife came perilously close to dying of laughter. In fact all the women nearby found it very funny. From that day forth my wife loved to call me Mr. Big Head when she wanted to get my goat.