311 Social Distancing calls

NYPD commanding officers are telling rank-and-file cops to prioritize 311 social-distancing calls over 911 emergency calls, sources said —

“311 is more [of a] priority than someone getting robbed at gunpoint,” an NYPD source told The Post.

“The NYPD is making it mandatory to answer 311 within 45 minutes, otherwise [the commanding officer] is gonna have to explain himself,” the source went on.

Much to my surprise, this one is not The Babylon Bee.