Need a Gun?

Why You Need a Gun

From Facebook:
A couple years ago I was working security at a bar in northern Virginia. I overheard a table of college kids arguing about gun rights and gun control and it was getting far too emotional so I did what any sane combat veteran would do and attempted to exfiltrate. I must not have withdrawn as surreptitiously as I intended, because I was stopped in my tracks when a 5-foot-nothing brunette seemingly leapt in front of me and blurted out “excuse me, can you help us?”

I’m sure I must have looked irritated as I cycled through the possible quips and excuses I considered available to me but being uncertain that she wasn’t some Senator’s daughter, I caved: “What’s up?”

She basically leads me to this table of 2 other females (probably both named Karen) and a very soft looking male.

Becky: “So, we were just talking about current events and, you know. So, you look like you’re probably in the military, right? Like the Army?”

(When you accuse someone of being in the military you probably don’t need to give an example)

Me: “Similar.. yea”

Becky: “Right. Okay. So, do you think civilians should be allowed to own guns?”

Me: “Most of us. Yes.”

Becky: (clearly not happy with my answer) “Okay, so, why do you think you need a gun?”

(At this point it’s almost 2am and I’ve just given up on patience. Hold my beer)

(With intentionally overt condescension): “Oh, honey, I don’t. I don’t need a gun.”

Becky stares at me blankly, so I continue, but with a more serious tone:

“I could follow you home, walk up your driveway, and beat you to death with the daily newspaper.

I could choke you to death with that purse.

I could take a credit card, break it in half, and cut your throat open with it.

With enough time and effort I could beat your boyfriend here with a rolled up pair of socks.

I could probably dream up six dozen other ways I could easily end your life if you gave me an hour or so.

If I wanted to, I could wrap my hand around that beer mug and kill all four of you before you could make it to the exit. The worst part is, in your utopian little fantasyland, there ain’t a thing any of you could do about it.

I don’t need a gun.

You need a gun.

You need a gun because of men like me.”

Call me a jerk, but if you want to keep your guns, these are the conversations we all need to start having.

About On the North River

Forty years toiled in the Tel-com industry, married for 36 years widowed at sixty-one. New girlfriend at sixty-five. Was a Tea Party supporter. Today a follower of the Last American President to be honestly elected, Donald J. Trump.
This entry was posted in All the News not fit to print., Blogbits, Guns and Gun Control, Still not a gun blog. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Need a Gun?

  1. Marica says:

    That’s awesome!


  2. Marica says:

    If you don’t mind, let me add one thing. You’d be surprised how many people are open to giving guns a try. Over the years we’ve introduced dozens of people to guns. Some– even the most liberal among them– have gone on to become gun owners. The others at least will then have some idea of the truth about guns, how normal people practice gun safety, and how they feel about 2A. So this belligerent attitude works in a bar at 2am. But shouldn’t the goal be to get them to be more open minded? Take a liberal shooting!


  3. djbarrus says:

    All through history, nations have fallen. No empire has ever withstood the march of history, and likewise our own will fail. We are far too young a nation to believe ourselves untouchable, and only through arrogance and naivety do we convince ourselves of our most dangerous folly: “It can’t happen to me.”

    The people of the West desperately need a reality check. We are so comfortable, so happy, and so ignorant of our own good fortune that we begin to believe humanity has changed. But more and more it becomes clear that this belief is unfounded, put to lie by the violence visited upon innocents across our nation. The wolves are among us once more, and no law will protect you. You are responsible for yourself.


  4. Small women, the sick and the elderly need guns to safely walk to the store or sit alone in their apartment.
    Big guys like me need guns against two or three opponents or someone armed.

    We all need a gun, and the best damn gun with high capacity magazines, good sights and zeroed in. When that man tells us to get in the boxcar for transport to the Re-education Camp.

    Of course that girl in the bar has probably already voted for a liberal/socialist politician who promises to ban guns to make her safe. The day may come when her father and brothers turn in their guns, because they are Law-abiding citizens. And she has married a guy that wouldn’t think of buying or owning a gun. Besides, now it’s the law.
    One morning she wakes up and looks around and realizes, she’s in Venezuela.


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