Christmas … bah! Humbug!

Christmas Shopping for the Man in Your Life? Check Out Goop. Actually, Don’t.

If you’d like to take this festive occasion as an opportunity to subtly tell your man that he smells like a cross between an old sock and a public restroom, goop has plenty of items that should do the trick. You could give him some beard scent — I mean who doesn’t wish their husband’s beard smelled like wood, citrus, and patchouli? And then there’s Man Bar Soap, which uses vetiver, clary sage, cypress, juniper berry, and cedarwood (whatever they are) to make your guy smell like . . . a girl.

If the items in The Guy Gift Guide don’t seem appealing, you might be tempted to click over to The Lover Gift Guide. But don’t. I’m serious, don’t. This is literally just a list of pornographic items that I wouldn’t wish on even the most raunchy bachelorette party. I guess if you’re trying to humiliate your significant other you could shop for him from this list. But, personally, I’d be just as mortified to be sitting around the Christmas tree when he opens something from this list than he would be to receive it. Do people really gift each other porn?? Never mind, I’ve said too much. Don’t click on that section. Really.

The Goop website was founded by Gwyneth Paltrow.

Enough said!


About On the North River

Forty years toiled in the Tel-com industry, married for 36 years widowed at sixty-one. New girlfriend at sixty-five. Tea Party supporter. Today a follower of the God-Emperor Donald. Do like to kayak, cook, take photos, bike, watch old movies and read.
This entry was posted in All the News not fit to print., Blogbits, Men vs Women. Bookmark the permalink.

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