Interesting New Year’s resolution

Bride of ISIS Fighter New Year’s Resolutions: ‘Please Help Me, I’ve Made a Terrible Mistake’

Duffel Blog reached Alimah Farzat, Bride of ISIS Fighter, by phone for an exclusive Q&A on her New Year’s Eve resolutions and life inside the Islamic State. Farzat was born in Syria, but grew up in London to a banker father and legal clerk mother. She flew to the Islamic State in early 2015.

Hi Alima, thank you for speaking with me as we explore the culture of ISIS. We’re going to lighten the mood and talk about ringing in the New Year, and as a bride of ISIS I’m guessing you’re invited to some pretty cool parties. Have you made any resolutions yet for 2016?

Please help me! I’ve made a terrible mistake becoming part of this. You’re my only hope. They’ll slit my throat if they find out I’m saying any of this. I’m only seventeen, I want to live. I want to get out of here.

Awesome! Resolutions are always so tough to keep — good luck. So what are your plans for the big night? 

Did you hear me? You must send help. I think I’m on the outskirts of Raqqa but I’m not sure where and they don’t tell us anything. If you could track this call and send me help…

Wowzers — even with this terrible connection, that sounds like fun! Will you be with lots of your friends as well?

I’m nothing but an object, a slave. The abuse is horrible for all the women trapped here. We are raped, beaten, and forced to do hard labor. These men are Godless criminals. Online they made it sound like I would be important, I’d be doing something great for the caliphate, but I am in hell. All the women here suffer terribly. Please, please help.

You go girl! You and your lady friends sound super fun. Do you wear any special jewelry or cute outfits for New Year’s Eve there?

If you don’t help me I’ll be wearing a noose around my neck. Are you not hearing me? I am begging you for help. This is torture, a prison.

I think I know what you’re saying — you keep it modest yet sassy and fresh! Ok, final question — growing up did your family have any New Year’s traditions? 

My family…

Are you crying? I hear you on that — I’d love to avoid my family over the holidays, too! Haha!

My family is back home in London. I miss them so much my soul has died and my heart is broken. I would give anything to see my mother’s face again. Please help me get home. I want to go home.

Totes amazeballs! Thank you for talking with me; always great to hear about different cultures and how they ring in the New Year! Cheers to 2016!

(John: Queue the sound of the world’s tiniest violin playing a very sad song.   I’m saving my sympathy for those women captured during the conquest of any territory in which ISIS has killing, looting and destroying.  At first I thought this bit of satire was a bit to cruel to post but on reflection I remembered that I wanted to do more PSA’s in the New Year. That’s my resolution.)


About On the North River

Forty years toiled in the Tel-com industry, married for 36 years widowed at sixty-one. New girlfriend at sixty-five. Tea Party supporter. Today a follower of the God-Emperor Donald. Do like to kayak, cook, take photos, bike, watch old movies and read.
This entry was posted in All the News not fit to print., Blogbits, Can't fix Stupid, Islam, Jokes, Tongue in Cheek, World's smallest violin. Bookmark the permalink.

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