Ashley Madison Was the Greatest Scam Ever

The Weekly Standard reports:

The site claimed 37 million users, which, if true, would be an enormous percentage of America’s married population. (That would be roughly half of all married people between the ages of 25 and 55. (Which sounded incredibly implausible.)

And now we know that Ashley Madison’s claims were implausible. An investigation of the site’s user database found that there were 31 million profiles for men. However, only 20 million male “users” ever bothered to check their Ashley Madison message box even once, and only 11 million male users ever engaged the website’s chat function, even once. A lot of people clearly just signed up out of curiosity.

The database also shows that there were 5.5 million women on Ashley Madison-but when reporter Annalee Newitz drilled down into their user profiles, an astonishing number of these women appear to be fakes-that is, dummy accounts created by the Ashley Madison staff to make it look like there was a pool of women looking for action. And by “astonishing,” I mean that it looks like the number of real, live women using the site was somewhere between 1,500 and 10,000.

Ant hive.  Many, many brainless drones swarming around a few queens.  That’s America in the twenty-first century.

The only good advice my father ever gave me, “Don’t fall though the head of your dick!’.

Expect other reports to prove that Escort Services are a front for prostitution,

Attractive women don’t take any money to bars,

and you can tell a girl you think she’s beautiful a thousand times and she won’t believe you.  Call her a little fat once she’ll never forget.

Experienced men say;
“What do I know about sex? I’m a married man.”
Tom Clancy

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL
convertible.” P. J. ORourke

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things
that money can buy.”
Steve Martin

“You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
Drew Carey

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences
go, it’s pretty damned good.”
Woody Allen

“Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.”
Woody Allen

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”

“If it weren’t for pickpockets I’d have no sex life at all.”
Rodney Dangerfield

“My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet.”
Bill Kelly

“As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen.”
Rev. Sydney Smith

“Homosexuality is God’s way of insuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.”
Sam Austin

“I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.”
George Burns

“It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
Matt Barry

“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.”
Camille Paglia

“Life is a sexually transmitted disease.”

“My kid had sex with your honor student.”
Bumper Sticker

“Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”
Michael Sinz

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
George Burns

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
Henry Miller

“The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments
to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.”
Lynn Lavner

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

If a man speaks deep in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him; is he still wrong?


About On the North River

Forty years toiled in the Tel-com industry, married for 36 years widowed at sixty-one. New girlfriend at sixty-five. Tea Party supporter. Today a follower of the God-Emperor Donald. Do like to kayak, cook, take photos, bike, watch old movies and read.
This entry was posted in All the News not fit to print., Can't fix Stupid, Jokes. Bookmark the permalink.

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