DuffleBlog (Military version of The Onion)
FORT BENNING, Ga. — After completing one of the most grueling training programs the United States military has to offer, sources confirmed today that the first order of business for the two female graduates of Army Ranger school is to “crush tons of fucking pussy” this weekend.
First Lts. Kristen Griest and Shaye Haver — the first-ever women to graduate Ranger School — plan to attack the Fort Benning bar scene in similar fashion to their approach for each phase of Ranger School.
“With no fucking mercy,” said Griest, who sources say plans to pull at least one hat trick per day starting Friday and into infinity. “These motherfuckers better watch out. I haven’t been laid in over four months.”
It’s all bullshit of course. No male candidate is allowed TWO do-overs and as ably pointed out over at InstaPundit soldiers passing this course are just starting their training. And it all gets rougher from this point on.
Remember! Next month 50,000 experienced and trained American Males will be redacted from the ranks which will bring our armed forces to a level below Pre-WWI levels. But…What difference does it make?