Housewives of America, Rejoice!

CÜCK – The New Furniture Assembly Service From IKEA

A Message from Our CEO:

Hallå, IKEA customers and shareholders —

IKEA furniture assembly is the 4th most-cited reason for divorce in the United States. Research shows that when couples assemble IKEA furniture, the husband’s shortcomings as a man are inevitably exposed. This causes him to lash out. But is a screaming match and hurt feelings unavoidable? Instead, what if American women could substitute the clumsy impotent rage of their husbands with the knowledgeable touch of a Swedish man?

Introducing CÜCK — a new furniture assembly service from IKEA.

IKEA, Inc. has built a nationwide team of over 900 young, vigorous, and blonde Swedish men to satisfy the furniture needs of America’s wives. Whether your husband fails to construct a MALM, FJELLSE, or even a FLURG, you can rest easy knowing there’s a Swede one phone call away who can give you what you want.

Read the rest…


About On the North River

Forty years toiled in the Tel-com industry, married for 36 years widowed at sixty-one. Tea Party supporter. Do like to kayak, cook, take photos, bike, watch old movies and read. 67 years old and have a new girlfriend!
This entry was posted in All the News not fit to print., Blogbits, Tongue in Cheek. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Housewives of America, Rejoice!

  1. Doug says:


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