My father worked at Sears. One day I came into the store to buy something and stopped by his department to say hello.  He was talking with another employee and the store manager, whom he introduced me too.  Then he said, “Tell my boss what a great guy I am, talk me up to my boss!”.

Without a pause I said, “Well, since he stopped drinking he doesn’t fall down as much.”   His boss almost fell on the floor laughing, my father turned beet-red.

Never hand me a straight line.    Never.