Posted in All the News not fit to print., News and opinion | Leave a comment

Guest:The United States Conundrum

From Greg:


Free people are not equal.  Equal people are not free.  (Think this
one over and over – makes sense!)

“A gun is like a parachute.  If you need one, and don’t have one,
you’ll probably never need one again.”

The definition of the word Conundrum is: something that is puzzling or
*Here are six Conundrums of socialism in the United States of America:*

1.    America is capitalist and greedy – yet half of the population is
2.    Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are
3.    They think they are victims – yet their representatives run the
4.    Their representatives run the government – yet the poor keep
getting poorer.
5.    The poor keep getting poorer – yet they have things that people
in other countries only dream about.
6.    They have things that people in other countries only dream about
– yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

*Think about it!  And that, my friends, pretty much sums up the USA in
the 21st Century.*

*Makes you wonder who is doing the math*.

These three, short sentences tell you a lot about the direction of our 
current government and cultural environment:

1.   We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few
lunatics, but we are encouraged to judge ALL gun owners by the actions
of a few lunatics.  *Funny how that works. And here’s another one
worth considering…*

2.   Seems we constantly hear about how Social Security is going to
run out of money.  *But we never hear about welfare or food stamps
running out of money* * * What’s interesting is the first group
“worked for” their money, but the second didn’t. Think about
it…..and Last but not least :

3.   Why are we cutting benefits for our veterans, no pay raises for
our military and cutting our army to a level lower than before WWII,
*but we are not stopping the payments or benefits to illegal aliens.*

*Am I the only one missing something?*

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Posted in 2016, All the News not fit to print., Can't fix Stupid, Cartoons, Fuck Obama, Media Bias, The Regime, When Progressives Attack | Leave a comment

Summer Silly Season

Florida Official Tells Men Their Barbecue Smoke Cannot Cross Property Line (Video)

The official tells the disbelieving men that he took pictures of their BBQ smoke, and adds:

Frankly, today, I can smell it, I can smell it again right now, but I’m on your property. You’re allowed to have it smell on your property, so that doesn’t count, but when I’m on the street, that’s when it counts.

One of the men tells the official that the neighbor, who filed the complaint, previously called the police and fire department when they cooked outside.

The official informs the men that their barbecue smoke cannot cross their property line, and suggests they buy a grill that contains most of the smoke.

So, mandatory wind or solar Barbecue grills coming up next?

On further thought… I doubt anyone would be stupid enough to write a law controlling barbecue smoke so this is another regulation written and mandated by one of the alphabet agencies so thoughtlessly created by Congress (though this could be a State regulation).  The asshat with a clipboard one of those dickless wonders that flock to jobs (thanks to patronage) that give them the power to lord it over common citizens.

Though the word Citizen is becoming obsolete,  and Subjects is taking its place.  Subject to EPA inspectors, subject to the police, subject to the IRS, The FCC, Homeland Security.  They will all be armed and we will all be disarmed.  What do you call that again?

Posted in Blogbits, Can't fix Stupid, Food, Global Warming Hoax | Leave a comment

The Old Folks newsletter, strikes again.

I get the most interesting stuff from the that Bereavement group; (Damn, lost all formatting in transfer)

Here’s why Obama and Hillary must stop Donald Trump at all costs

Hi. I’m Wayne Allyn Root for Personal Liberty. Some people are getting very nervous: Barack Obama, Valerie Jarrett, Eric Holder, Hillary Clinton and Jon Corzine, to name just a few. And I know why.

I wrote a book titled “The Murder of the Middle Class” about the unholy conspiracy between big government, big business and big media. They all benefit by the billions of dollars from this partnership, and it’s in all of their interests to protect one another. It’s one for all and all for one.

It’s a heck of a filthy relationship that makes everyone filthy rich — everyone except the American people. We get ripped off. We’re the patsies.

But for once, the powerful socialist cabal and the corrupt crony capitalists are scared. I’ve never seen them this outraged, this vicious, this motivated or this coordinated. Never in all my years in politics have I seen anything like the way the mad dogs of hell have been unleashed on Donald Trump. Continue reading

Posted in 2016, All the News not fit to print., Blogbits, Cranky, Fuck Obama, Guest, The Old Ones, Time to talk a little treason | Leave a comment


In honor of the nitwit that handled my mothers closing and lost all the paperwork, which we need for the Medicare application.

Lawyers will be substituted for white rats in medical experiments in the future, there are three reasons for the change.

1. There are more of them.

2. The researchers don’t get as attached to their subjects.

Third and most importantly; there are some things a white rat will not do.

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. 
 He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. 
 When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff’s Department.
 After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview. 
 The Chief Deputy said, “You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an “Attitude Suitability Test”, that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don’t let anyone carry our badge, son.”
 Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, “Take this pistol and go out and shoot: 
 six illegal aliens, 
 six lawyers, 
 six meth dealers, 
 six Muslim extremists, 
 six Democrats, 
 and a rabbit.”
 “Why the rabbit?” queried the applicant.
 “You pass,” said the Chief Deputy. “When can you start?”

During the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million cows. How come the government never does anything like this with lawyers?

– P.J. O’Rourke

The definition of a mixed emotion; watching your ex-wife and her lawyer drive over a cliff in your new car.

Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.

Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
A: Taller

Q: Know how copper wire was invented?
A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
A: Senator.

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, “Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand.”

Not one hand went up . . . . so she took them home and ate them.

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers.

“So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.”

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.”

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits!”


There was a young couple very much in love. On the night before they were to be married, both were killed in an automobile accident. They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter. After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, “St. Peter, my fiancee and I are very happy to be in heaven, but we miss very much the opportunity to have our wedding vows celebrated. Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?”
St. Peter looked at him and said, “I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married. I’m afraid you’ll have to talk to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an appointment in two weeks from Wednesday.”
Come the appointed day, the couple was escorted by the guardian angels into the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where they repeated the request. The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, “I tell you what; wait a year and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again.”
A year went by and the couple, still very much wanting to get married, came back. Again, the Lord God Almighty said, “I’m sorry to disappoint you but you must wait another year, and then I will consider your request.”
This happened year after year, for ten years. Each time they reasserted their yearning to be married; each time God put them off for another year. In the tenth year, they came before they Lord God Almighty to ask again. This time the Lord answered, “Yes, you may marry! This Saturday at 2:00 p.m. We will have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The reception will be on me!”
The wedding went off without a hitch. The bride looked beautiful. The Buddha did the flower arrangements for which Moses wove simple yet elegant baskets. Jesus prepared the fish course. All of heaven’s denizens attended, and a good time was had by all.
Tragically, but perhaps inevitably, within a few weeks, the newlyweds realized that they had made a horrible mistake. They simply couldn’t stay married to one another. So they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty. Groveling and frightened, they asked if they could get a divorce.
The Lord heard their request, looked at them, and said, “Look, it took us TEN YEARS to find a priest up here in heaven. Do you have any idea how long it’ll take us to find a lawyer?”



guided to this place

Posted in Jokes | Leave a comment


From: Ethel Stalker

For us old people

Recently, I went to McDonald’s and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.
‘You don’t?’ I replied.
‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.
‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’
‘That’s right.’
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true…)
Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn’t have any, only Splenda and sugar.
(And they think they are worth $15.00 per hour)
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’
I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’
She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
(But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.
(Keep shuddering!!)

I find that hard to believe, but I did run into several folks at work that broke their CD or DVD drive by using it for a coffee holder. (John)
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
‘Do you need some help?’ I asked.
She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’
Hmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from the
photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
A Brunette, by the way!!
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.
The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’
Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency right now!’
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I’m reminding you too. Don’t laugh….it is all true…
Perks of reaching 60 or being over 70 and heading towards 80!
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
4. People call at 8 PM and ask, “Did I wake you?”
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 5 PM .
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
11. You can’t remember who sent you this list.
12. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone you can remember right now! And remember, Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!

Posted in Blogbits, Can't fix Stupid, Cranky, Guest, Jokes, The Old Ones | 2 Comments

When is a wash not a wash?


Shown here are results from dishwasher tests, for new government water efficiency standards, run by members of the Association of Home Appliance Manufacturers (AHAM). (AHAM)

Appliance industry warns federal dishwasher regs would lead to dirty dishes

Published July 20, 2015

The home appliance industry has a problem with the Obama administration’s new dishwasher regulations: They’re a wash, so to speak.

The recent proposal from the Department of Energy is meant to boost dishwasher efficiency by setting stricter limits on the amount of water each dishwasher can use, among other changes. Under the plan, washers could use only 3.1 gallons of water for a single load.

But an appliance industry group says the new measures would be counterproductive — as they’d force users to run their dishwashers more, and hand-wash, just to get the same results, in turn using more water.

“[The regulations] would result in dishwasher performance that is unacceptable to consumers, essentially turning back the clock to the days of hand-washing dishes,” the Association of Home Appliance Manufacturers (AHAM) said in a statement.

Robert McArver, vice president of policy and government relations at AHAM, told The Hill that the government is trying to “squeeze blood from a stone that just doesn’t have any blood left.”

The “new” dishwasher I bought to replace the one lost in the house fire was notably inferior to the old one, that’s in 2006.  Then the FF’s (i.e. The Fucking Feds) screwed around with the formula of dishwasher detergent so things got even worse.  Then I was browsing the appliances at a Sears store and the salesman told me that the EPA has ordered the dishwasher manufacturers to stop making unit without a “food particle trap” that captures anything washed off the plates and bowls and retains it within the machine (WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT?).  The homeowner must then manually clean the trap, yukky!  But he said, “All units develop a bad breath problem anyway”.

So I had already pretty much decided not to buy another dishwasher when this one finally died.  I started life washing dishes manually, and I guess that’s how I’ll end up.

Fuck The Feds!

If you still need to get your dishes clean with whatever machine you have now;  here’s a clue, the restaurant, hospital and hotel industry put their foot down and demanded they be able to still get dishwasher detergent with the old formula.  So its available, just on online and order “Commercial or Professional” grade detergent.  You can’t find it on the supermarket shelves but it’s readily available online.  But you may have to buy it in case lots.  It’s worth it.

Another item for the folder, “America ain’t a Free Country anymore”.

Posted in All the News not fit to print., Can't fix Stupid, Cranky, The Regime, When Progressives Attack | Leave a comment